This text was published in the book “X-Tract: 14 Years of Stories About How People Choose Their Path, Go Through Complex Crossroads, and Are Not Afraid to Move Forward,” published by the agroholding HarvEast in honor of its 10th anniversary.
Perhaps if I had started my career outside the family business, my life would have turned out differently
In theory, I could have avoided working at TIS. But in practice, that was not an option. The family had high hopes that I would join the business, especially my father. That made any other scenario unrealistic. In 2001, I started working at the port as deputy chief dispatcher. Eight years later, my brother joined TIS and he did everything right.
My father and I had many conflicts at work. The arguments were huge, with yelling. I left the company several times, saying I wanted nothing, no shares or positions. Later I was told that my father was deeply upset by this and that Oleg Dzhumberovich Kuteladze, TIS co-founder, reassured him by saying, “Look, you are a copy of each other. It’s only natural that he drives you mad.”
Back then it was so important to me to prove my point, to insist, to put the period exactly where I thought it belonged. And I remember the moment when all that instantly lost meaning. All my anger and resentment vanished when we found out my father had cancer. It disappeared in a second without a trace. I was 25 years old. It was summer, June or July. That was probably the most significant moment that turned my life around.
I considered myself independent, grown-up, self-sufficient, and in one second I became a child again. As long as your parents are alive, you’re not truly an adult, even if you are 55. When they leave, everything seems to stay the same but the paradigm shifts. Losing your parents brings you down to earth completely.
Since then, my life outwardly has not changed much but inside everything turned upside down. This February marked exactly 20 years since my mother passed and 10 years without my father. I would suggest that everyone who thinks their conflicts with loved ones are really serious should remember this perspective. No one knows how much time we have together. Give your parents more of your attention, bring their grandchildren to see them more often, do not postpone it.
Today I see reflections of past conflicts with my father, caused by how alike we are, in my relationship with my children
I have twin daughters. One, Stefania, is very similar to me in character. The other, Michelle, takes after my wife Diana. So Stefania and I connect a bit less. I notice that sometimes we irritate each other. At the same time, it is harder for Diana to connect with Michelle.
I learn a lot about myself by watching my children, especially my daughter who is more like me. Who teaches whom more and who influences whom more is hard to say. We often talk about where to study, what to pursue, where to start. I do not consider business education to be real education. I want them to get some practical training first. I want to open up as many opportunities as possible and not limit them to the choices I made. Of course, it is hard to impress kids with your work if you are not doing stunts in movies. For now, all this sounds really boring. Like: “I raise and protect other people’s money, son. I read and edit documents over and over until they are perfect. Or I show up at a dirty construction site early in the morning and watch excavators dig holes in the ground. Or I sit in an office and type numbers into spreadsheets.”
My kids were honestly surprised when I said that people at work actually listen to me. They laughed and said, “Dad, who would ever listen to that boring stuff?” But all the boredom disappears when the massive work of financing, designing, and building is done and you see from the top of a crane or silo a new terminal at the port that your father envisioned.
I try to give my children a worldview in which they feel equally comfortable in Kyiv, Singapore, Frankfurt, anywhere. It would be right to say I see their future in Ukraine. But even more correct would be to say I don’t tie them down at all. My task is to give them enough knowledge and experience to live wherever they want.
For example, my eldest son David studied abroad but returned to Ukraine, got a job on his own without my help, and not in my business. He and his girlfriend live on the salaries of entry-level professionals. Of course, they struggle, and I think that is an important experience for both of them.
My idea of a good education was influenced by the books and talks of Sir Ken Robinson
As a specialist in human capital development, he fought against the traditional learning process for many years. Robinson believed that conventional school damages children, kills their talents, and burns out their desire to learn. I think so too.
What is the right way? We must awaken curiosity in children, teach them based on individual plans, give teachers creative freedom. Unfortunately, even all that does not guarantee success. Pedagogy is very hard, much harder than logistics. I say this confidently as a father and a port worker.
When it comes to adult education, I immediately recall my experience at the Aspen Institute. It was love from the very first seminar. Like any strong emotion, it is hard to describe in words. In the post-truth era, Aspen is like a lighthouse pointing back to core values like justice, understanding, and family. A rare mission in today’s world draws incredible people and the selection filters bring in the most interesting, diverse, advanced minds. You never feel like the smartest one in the room, especially if it is a board meeting. I eventually became a board member. From that experience came the educational and inspiring space called mOre. At mOre, we transform people who then go on to transform the world.
Thinking back to school and childhood dreams, I really wanted to be a tower crane operator. That dream came true in a way. We have lots of cranes at TIS today, although they are port cranes, and I have operated all of them. Now I only have to become a pilot or an architect. I have always wanted to learn architecture. That is the first thing that comes to mind when asked what I would do or study if I had more free time.
More seriously, I want to work on startups with a mission. I have one in the works now that aims to make Ukrainians healthier. This is my first project where the clients are regular people, not businesses. And it brings me real happiness because it demands completely different skills from me. I am learning as I go and gaining new experience.
SD in our company’s name stands for shuttle diplomacy
It is a serious term first used to describe Henry Kissinger’s policy during the Yom Kippur War. In essence, shuttle diplomacy means mediation in complex disputes, the involvement of a third party who often works without direct contact between the conflicting sides.
But I prefer a different interpretation. Once a journalist asked Kissinger to explain the meaning of shuttle diplomacy in negotiations. He replied, “Let me explain with an example. Can the daughter of Rockefeller marry an ordinary guy from Siberia? Unlikely. But how would I do it? I go to a village, find a simple guy and ask, ‘Do you want to marry an American Jewish girl?’ He says, ‘Why? We have plenty of our own girls.’ I say, ‘But she is a billionaire’s daughter.’ He replies, ‘That changes things.’ Then I go to a bank board in Switzerland and ask, ‘Do you want a Siberian man as vice chairman?’ They say, ‘Yuck.’ But I say, ‘What if he is Rockefeller’s son-in-law?’ They say, ‘Now that changes things.’ Then I go to Rockefeller and ask, ‘Do you want a Siberian guy as your son-in-law?’ He says, ‘What are you talking about? Our family is full of financiers.’ I say, ‘But he is a vice chairman of a Swiss bank.’ He says, ‘That changes things. Suzie, come here. Mr. Kissinger found you a husband. He is a solid man with a good bank account.’ Suzie says, ‘Ew, is that special?’ And I say, ‘Yes, he is also a huge Siberian guy.’ She replies, ‘Oh, that changes things.’”
As someone who lost his parents early, I know too much about loss
And though full healing is impossible, I found a way to ease the pain. People live on through their deeds. For me, the port is not just a business but a family mission, a legacy from my father.
That is also why I am involved in publishing the books of Mikhail Mikhailovich Zhvanetsky. His wisdom, language, keen eye, charm, and love for Odesa will warm us for years to come. I believe the soul of Odesa lives in MMZ’s texts, not in the shawarma on Deribasivska Street.
Meeting Zhvanetsky was a brush with genius. In his stories, he not only described but literally created the character of Odesa. Let those stories live forever both on paper and in our memory.
Where do I see myself in ten years?
On a plane circling for a second landing at the airport in Odesa or Kyiv, waiting its turn among a long line of other jets. By then our region will have become so attractive that dozens of international flights will arrive in Odesa every day. I imagine those planes filled not just with tourists but also with foreign businesspeople flying in to close deals. That is the kind of plane I see myself in ten years from now. And I do not want to wake up.